Santa and The Fairy Snow Queen (1951)

Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen

Made by Sid Davis' film company
Starring: I don't think any of the actors in this want to be associated with it.

Synopsis: Santa's elf/helper Snoopy over hears Santa inviting the Fairy Snow Queen over for a sugar cookie snack; or maybe a bootie call, it was the 50's they had to keep it clean. Snoopy the "I'm snorting coke off screen" Elf, guides the watcher or victim; whatever you feel like after watching this; to Santa's work shop to see what happens. When the Fairy Queen shows up he is asleep so she decides to be a hag and play a trick on him. She turns all the toys in his workshop into living beings. When the torture, err, fun is over the Fairy Snow hag tries to turn them back but they don't want to go. According to the Fairy Snow Douche Bag her magic only works on willing participants; if only the Bush administration's "magic" were limited in this way. Santa then scolds The Fairy Queen and lays a guilt trip as thick as a shag rug on the toys for being selfish. In the end the toys go back to being toys, the Fairy Snow Wrench learns a valuable lesson, and Snoopy snorts her Christmas bonus.

Review:

I read a few things about this film short prior doing this review; it was a holiday special that aired in the 50's. It's special alright!

Dear Lord! The film short was only 27 minutes long but I still prayed for it to end quickly. This is proof Ed Wood is not the worst director of all time. How in the world did this escape the movie lot? Better yet what movie executive gave the green light to this debacle?

Let me start with the narrator/host Snoopy, who is supposed to be an Elf in Santa's workshop. Yes, elves are supposed to be cute, friendly, energetic, and happy. Not overbearing, hard to watch, and generally annoying. I'm talking about Snoopy jumping all over everything, running around, and practically humping the floor. She reminded me of what my cat does when she's in heat, jumping around, rubbing up against everything and sticking her butt up at you if you pet her. I gotta say there must have been some good drugs on that set to keep the actors there.

The Fairy Snow Queen wasn't much better really. She made a sad, sad attempt to ballet dance elegantly, but failing miserably, around the small set that is suppose to be Santa's workshop. The typical Christmas toys were there a baby doll, a rag doll, a toy solider, a Victorian doll and a jack in the box. Amazingly enough the jack in the box was more annoying than Snoopy, I know hard to believe someone felt the need to out act poor Snoopy. Oh, and I forgot to mention Santa is a giant man, the only thing you see in the workshop shots is his big boot. The actor playing Santa was not filmed with any of the other actors. My guess is he was too creepy and none of the other actors wanted to go near him, or he didn't regularly bath; take your pick.

Along with some long lasting night terrors, there was a memorable line which I will carry with me always. It's when Santa is chastising the Fairy Snow Queen, he says "But they need to be changed back, something terrible could happen. They could get hurt or fall in love." That's right kids you heard it, Santa says love is a terrible thing.

There is one redeeming quality about this short film, TV special, train wreck; what ever you want to call it. It makes good MST3K material, if you are in a MST3K mood and you have Comcast Cable, you can find this gem under the free Something Weird segments.